Personal sovereignty entails taking responsibility for one’s life, thoughts, emotions, choices, decisions, and actions.
A sovereign person does not blame anyone or anything as an excuse to justify his/her actions or lack thereof. Blaming weakens the blamer – he adopts a mentality of a victim and denies himself connection to his own internal power, which is the only thing that can really make a positive difference in their life.
For example, people tell themselves and others: “I would like to quit my job, but I cannot do that, because …” and then they continue to list reasons. In this way, they give up their power and get stuck in a mental state of helplessness. A victim mentality leads to anger about the world, and then to despair, depression, and anxiety.
Instead, a sovereign person can say: “I would like to quit my job and work somewhere that would be more suitable for me. But in the meantime, I choose to work here because I want money for my needs. Still, I also have a long term plan how to make a change in my career, and I act to advance it as best I can.” Notice how “I cannot” that deprives the speaker of personal power is replaced by “I choose” which matches the mindset of a powerful actor.
It is in our own best interest to take responsibility for our life’s condition, since this attitude empowers us. We always have freedom of choice how to treat reality and act in it according to our convictions. We can always act as best we can to improve ourselves and our lives, as well as contribute to improving our environment.
Also, a sovereign person takes responsibility for their emotions. Even when someone else’s words or actions trigger in us emotional pain, or any form of discomfort, we remember that we are the ones who are responsible for our own emotions, and we don’t blame someone else for “causing” us to feel this way. Different people feel differently in response to the same kind of situation, so our emotions stem from our view and interpretation of the situation and not from the situation itself.
Exercise
- Think of events in your life when you blamed people or circumstances to justify your actions, decisions, or feelings.
- In those events, what were the consequences of not taking personal responsibility?
- In those events, how could you take personal responsibility?
- What would be the consequences of doing so?