Overview
A central theme in Ethics is, of course, answering the question:
- How should we treat other people?
Since enhancement of wellbeing is the foundation of ethical behavior in Wellism, this implies several consequences for the way we relate in our one-on-one relationships. An interaction should not only be based on respect, but is also an opportunity to support and uplift the other person, while also honoring your own needs and values. The guiding question is this:
- What can I do, in this moment, to enhance the wellbeing of both myself and the other person?
Core Principles
Respect and Autonomy
Treat others as autonomous individuals with their own goals, values, and boundaries. Respect their right to make choices, even when those choices differ from your own preferences. In other words, respect their personal sovereignty.
Respecting autonomy is essential because it honors each person’s individuality and right to self-determination. This fosters a sense of dignity and mutual regard, which are crucial for healthy, supportive relationships. Disregarding autonomy—by controlling, coercing, or dismissing the other’s choices—can lead to power struggles, resentment, and a breakdown of trust, harming the wellbeing of both parties.
When both people respect each other’s autonomy, they create a foundation of trust and safety, allowing each person to express themselves authentically and pursue their own growth. This mutual respect supports the wellbeing of both parties by reducing fear of judgment or control, and by encouraging honest, open interaction. Conversely, when autonomy is not respected, one or both individuals may feel stifled, manipulated, or invalidated, which can lead to emotional distress, withdrawal, and a deterioration of the relationship’s quality for everyone involved.
Respectful Communication
Communicate with respect and kindness, even when you disagree. Do not use language that is aggressive, demeaning, or dismissive. Conduct respectful discussions, and follow the principles of Compassionate Communication.
Respectful communication is necessary for supporting wellbeing because it creates a safe environment where both parties feel that their needs and feelings are heard and valued, even in moments of disagreement. This safety allows for honest expression and problem-solving, which are essential for mutual wellbeing. In contrast, disrespectful communication—such as insults, sarcasm, or dismissiveness—can cause emotional harm, erode trust, and escalate conflicts, making it difficult for either person to feel secure or supported in the relationship.
Empathy and Understanding
Strive to understand the needs, feelings, and perspectives of the other person. Aim to listen actively and without judgment. Empathy is not just about feeling for someone, but about genuinely seeking to understand how they see the world.
Empathy is crucial because it bridges the gap between different experiences and perspectives, fostering connection and reducing misunderstandings. When both parties feel understood, they are more likely to cooperate, support each other, and resolve conflicts constructively, which enhances wellbeing for both of them. In contrast, a lack of empathy can lead to feelings of isolation, frustration, and alienation, undermining the relationship and thus diminishing the wellbeing of everyone involved.
Kindness and Compassion
Act with kindness, even in disagreement or conflict. Compassion means caring about the other person’s wellbeing and being willing to help when you can, without sacrificing your own wellbeing.
Kindness and compassion are necessary because they create an atmosphere of warmth and safety, encouraging both people to be open and vulnerable. This mutual care strengthens the bond between individuals and helps both parties navigate challenges together. Without kindness and compassion, interactions can become cold, harsh, or adversarial, which can damage trust, increase stress, and reduce the overall wellbeing of both people in the relationship.
Honesty and Transparency
Communicate truthfully and openly, but with kindness. Honesty builds trust, which is essential for any relationship that aims to enhance mutual wellbeing.
Honesty and transparency are vital because they allow both parties to make informed decisions and to trust one another. When people are open and truthful, misunderstandings are minimized and both individuals can work together toward shared goals. Conversely, dishonesty or secrecy can breed suspicion, confusion, and even betrayal, undermining trust and causing emotional harm to both parties, ultimately detracting from the wellbeing of the relationship.
Mutual Benefit
Seek solutions and interactions that benefit both parties. Beneficial interaction is not a zero-sum game where you either win against the other or lose, or you both have to compromise in a lose-lose situation. Creative approaches can lead to outcomes where both people are better off, in a win-win situation.
Focusing on mutual benefit is necessary because it ensures that both people’s needs and interests are considered, leading to more satisfying and sustainable relationships. When both parties feel that their wellbeing matters, cooperation and goodwill increase, and conflicts are more likely to be resolved constructively. In contrast, if one person consistently benefits at the expense of the other, resentment and imbalance can develop, harming the wellbeing of both and threatening the stability of the relationship.
Boundaries and Self-Care
Enhancing the wellbeing of others does not mean neglecting your own. Respect your own personal sovereignty by setting healthy boundaries and communicating your needs clearly. A relationship is healthiest when both people feel safe and valued.
Boundaries and self-care are essential because they protect each person’s wellbeing and prevent burnout, resentment, or dependency. When both individuals set and respect boundaries, they create a relationship where each person can thrive without feeling overwhelmed or taken for granted. Ignoring boundaries, on the other hand, can lead to exhaustion, loss of identity, and emotional harm, ultimately reducing the wellbeing of both parties and weakening the relationship.
Practical Applications
- Active Listening: Give your full attention, reflect back what you hear, and ask clarifying questions.
- Express Appreciation: Acknowledge the other person’s positive qualities and contributions.
- Constructive Feedback: Offer feedback in a way that is supportive and focused on growth, not blame.
- Conflict Resolution: Approach disagreements as opportunities for mutual understanding and improvement, not as battles to be won.
- Consent and Agreement: Ensure that both parties are comfortable and willing participants in any shared activity or decision.
The Wellism Perspective
Wellism holds that the wellbeing of each person is interconnected. By treating others with respect, empathy, and care, you not only enhance their wellbeing but also create the conditions for your own flourishing. In every one-on-one relationship, aim to be a source of support, understanding, and positive growth—for both yourself and the other.