What can we do about our Blocked Self? How can we remedy this situation?
How to Reconnect with Our True Self?
To reconnect with our True Self, we need to identify our inner blocks – the fears, beliefs, and patterns – that prevent us from expressing ourselves authentically, as we used to be able to do at a very young age. Then we need to challenge ourselves to explore them, and gradually and carefully go beyond them. Read more here…
Exercise
List several blocks in your personality that you know about. You may later think of a few more and add them to the list. Now select one or two of them that you would like to work on, perhaps because you realize that they are stopping you from achieving the things that are most important for you in your life.
Connecting to Nature
We remind ourselves that humans have evolved during hundreds of thousands of years in Nature – savannas, jungles, forests, hills. Nature has a lot of wisdom, but throughout history, particularly in the Western World today, we separated ourselves from Nature, and thus also from our own nature. We are not only mind and intellect, we also have emotions and drives, and a body which is actually an animal’s body, with needs, urges, and instincts. To act in an optimal and healthy way, we must be in touch with all these parts of us as well. Connect to our primordial nature. Understand how a connection with nature (trees, animals, natural elements, etc.) can support our process.
Exercise
In what ways are you disconnected from natural parts of yourself, such as emotions, desires, or parts of your body? A disconnection may be: not being aware of them, not thinking about them at all, or suppressing them. It may also be having judgmental thoughts about them (such as they are “bad” or “ugly” or “too long/short/big/small/etc.” or “dirty”), or feeling painful emotions about them (such as fear, repulsion, disgust, sadness, anger). Realize you were not like that when you were 3 years old. So where did this negative attitude come from?
The Help of a Group
This process is very challenging because painful emotions such as discomfort, fear, shame, and guilt may arise. So it is very helpful to do this process in a supportive environment, such as psychotherapy, and especially a supportive group.
Such a group is a lab for exploring ourselves and our relations with others. It is a safe and supportive environment. The group gives us permission to be who we really are, and encourages it. The group creates for its members the opportunity to experience that they are okay just as they are, and that everything which arises inside their psyche is legitimate and gets understanding and compassion in the group. In this space, nothing is left outside – the “good”, the “bad”, and the “ugly”, as well as our quirks and vulnerabilities, are all welcome without judgment. We give ourselves permission to connect to everything that is alive within us and express it, and even to fool around like young kids.
Exercise
Imagine such a supportive group, where you could feel very comfortable to be yourself, to bring to light all parts which you usually hide from others for fear of being judged. What do you need in order to feel comfortable expressing yourself fully in such a group? E.g. what rules and guidelines, values, activities, environment, etc.?
Exercise
Form your own development group! Tell about this idea and send the information here to friends whom you think might be interested in doing this process together. If you don’t know enough people who might be interested, you could go to a few workshops or classes for personal/spiritual development and find relevant people there.
The Benefits of the Process
When we permit ourselves to experience this inner connection – then magic happens. Our inner inhibitions and obstructions which no longer serve us, and in fact limit us, gradually start to dissolve. All the emotional energy which was stuck in the form of anger, sadness, confusion, shame, guilt, and fear can be released and transformed into a powerful life energy that turns us on and moves us to become fully ourselves. Then we begin to return to our essence, to feel what it is to be truly alive, with fullness and presence.
This process transforms us from being fearful and limited to people who act with courage and expansion. It is sometimes a bit scary, because by definition it is uncomfortable to approach the border of our comfort zone. But we allow ourselves to experience emotional release, to feel all our emotions in all their power and glory – both fear, anger, and sadness as well as joy, excitement, enthusiasm, and pleasure! We do not allow a momentary emotional pain to stop us from acting in the direction that we understand is good and empowering for us. As a result, our fears gradually subside, because we get used to new things which are good for us.
Exercise
Imagine a future version of yourself as you would like to be one year from now, after you will have experienced this transformation process in a supportive group.
- How are you different from who you are today?
- In what ways are you more free and less blocked than today?
- Imagine yourself actually being that person. How does it feel?
- Are you feeling excitement about it? If not, then come up with a version that will make you feel excited.