Respectful discussion occurs when the parties in the conversation treat one another with respect and maintain a positive atmosphere. Participants approach the conversation with openness and a sincere willingness to listen to the other’s perspective and consider it. The discussion is viewed as an opportunity for an honest exploration of truth and of the most effective way to advance relevant values.
Discussion Guidelines
The following rules apply to all forms of expression: face-to-face conversations, written articles, online content and comments, speech in political arenas, as well as protests-demonstrations.
- No interruption: Each participants allows others to speak and finish their statements without interrupting or cutting them off.
- Respecting time: To make the previous point possible, one should speak concisely and avoid dominating the discussion, in order to respect the time of the other participants and to enable an effective interactive exchange of ideas.
- Interactive: A productive discussion is highly interactive and is composed of short statements. In this way, participants can maintain patience to listen. Also, this interactivity allows for specific points be addressed without getting lost in too many statements. The same applies to online discussions in writing — no one wants to read endless monologues.
- Moderator: If the participants have a difficulty maintaining an interactive discussion, a moderator can be appointed with the authority to interrupt anyone who speaks excessively.
- Listening: Each participant listens to what others are saying with an open mind and an honest desire to understand. When another person is talking, you genuinely listen, instead of planning the next thing you want to say.
- Respectful: Participants respond to the content of the statements. There is no attacking the other person (Ad hominem), ridicule, contempt, insults, mockery, or cynicism. One adheres to this principle even if if the other side deteriorates into such behavior in order to help de-escalate and reduce tension, though it is also legitimate to ask to return to a respectful manner.
- Tempered voice: Even when emotions arise, one avoids shouting and yelling, and maintains a calm tone of voice. It is legitimate to describe what one is feeling, but one also takes responsibility for their own emotions. There is a great adage: “The one who shouts first loses in the debate”.
- No repetitions: There is no need to repeat oneself. Each argument should be made only once. This helps maintain efficiency in the discussion.
- Rational discussion: One should adhere to the rules of rational discussion.
See also: Compassionate Communication.